A heart warming letter from a truly compassionate boss.
DEAR EMPLOYEE. (real name deleted)
Next time you leave work thinking that I am a slave~driving SOB and that you have the worst possible job in the whole G*d Damm Universe; I want to pause for a moment and do me a small favour.
On your way home, take a little five minute detour to your local shopping centre.
Park your car and step inside.
Next, I want you to look for one of those well stocked Chemist Pharmacy's that have all sorts of medical paraphernalia.
Now; go to the thermometer section of the shop.
When your there, look for a Johnson & Johnson brand Rectal thermometer.
(For reasons that will soon become apparent, it is important that it is a Johnson & Johnson brand.)
Purchase it and take it home with you.
Make sure no one else sees it.
I want you to go to your bedroom and lock the door.
(This is the fun part that will give you a whole new perspective on your job.)
Unpack the said product and put it to one side.
Having done that, carefully pull out your magnifying glasses and start reading the fine print instructions that came inside the box.
Towards the bottom, you will read the following..
"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson, is personally tested "
Now get on your knees and pray.
Pray that God teaches you to appreciate your job.
Pray for your Boss, who is under as much pressure as you.
And last but not least...
Pray to God Almighty that your not fired, because your such a whining slacka*rse that you will probably end up working in the Rectal thermometer testing area.
So wise up and get back to work..
BTW : Your 5 minute Lunch Break is over..