^ okay
i finally found a forum board with some of my writings on it:
(i know its really really long, also theres no title)
Splitting into broken glass
Looking through strange gas
My life never stops, although..
I know it will never be enough
For my time will not come,
While I stand watching from
This topless mountain,
With my self contained,
Beliefs in my selflessness
Holding on to all my ties of cowardliness
I sit and wait, my insides bleeding
With this strange world ever changing
What is it, that I still hold on to
Could it possible be you
I try my hand at things I don’t know
Only to be shot down, like right now
Staggering in my clouded brain
Wishing only for it to rain
With the blue skies, turning
Purple with all my sorrow’s churning
Thinking I’m not alone, here
In this place, with this tear
Running down my face,
I can’t find where I left my place
Behind me, behind the clouds of self doubt
Spinning my emotions that I have felt
Undertaking so little, over thinking so much
I try to grab it, try to stay in touch
With the world around me, thinking
That they have all abandoned me, my timing
Couldn’t be better, this isn’t over yet
I will find someone, you should bet,
That I do, for I know inside,
With all this monoxide,
What am I breathing in
As my head begins to spin,
I let it all soak in, knowing, hoping
That today might be the day, for saving
My soul, everyday life taking its toll,
When will I stop feeling this cold,
I know now that I will live,
I have to stop and don’t give,
In to my own weaknesses,
I see the witnesses,
Letting me enjoy my time
All of us getting along fine,
I open up my mind,
To look around and find
Things I once knew,
Seeing you standing there too
Shattered again as if it were a matter of fact
Why don’t I just go on the attack
To end myself all my pain, everyone’s sadness
Then it would all be done, I’d be dead and lifeless
I’ve tried, I really have but it all ends the same
Me twisted, torn up suffering and maimed
I really want to give up on all this
And its funny all my sorrows would disappear with a kiss
Never been close, never been touched, only been seen from a far
Why can’t others suffer, why isn’t life fair
My hands wont stop from shaking
And I know so very well im breaking
Into pieces, that no one can fix, not
Me not anyone can unite my life’s knot
I do care, I know I love, but what if we didn’t know
This isn’t ours alone, and we now know how
To be together, from a far, looking for your star
I’ll get there, I know I will get to be there, even without a car
For you, I would, give myself even at the loss of my life
I’ll try hard, but you have to too, we will be going through a lot of strife
